took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
