Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
