He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
