when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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