you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
