okay pat passed out under dana's car
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
