Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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