Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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