Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
