Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
