There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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