Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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