Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
