Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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