so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
