I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
