Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
