did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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