Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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