lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
