There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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