i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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