You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
