no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
