it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
