You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The adults are the big ones right?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
