we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
