So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
