I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
