that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
