When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she smelled like a LAN party
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
