well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
