Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
