honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
