you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
