you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
