We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
