im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
