all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
birth control should be required to get into college
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
