drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
