is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
