I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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