If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
