I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
