JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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