So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
