Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
