Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
