is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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