Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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